I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
