thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
