So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
