oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
