just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
