these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
