OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
