im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
