I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
