Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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