my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
