After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize