I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
