Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
