so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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