bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
