Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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