no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
