she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
