I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
