just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
