You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am available for nakedness
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