I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize