i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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