i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
