Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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