Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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