went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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