My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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