That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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