Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
