DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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