I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
