Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
