...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
