well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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