she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize