im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize