yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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