I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
then he tried to convert me to islam
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
