11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
