brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
