Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drake has all the answers
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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