And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
