your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
