I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
