We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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