Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize