Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
