I need help removing her.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize