Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
