Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
