big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
