yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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