I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
did i walk over a car last night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
