you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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