where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
