3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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