I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
