I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
