This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We need to get me chipped asap
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
