Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize