He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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