I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I would fuck him just for his dog
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
