oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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