I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
