I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
