Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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