Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
