piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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