I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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